I’ve been faking an allergy for YEARS, and now it’s gone way too far.

This started as a dumb excuse, and now I’m in too deep.

Years ago, I went on a date with this girl who was obsessed with peanut butter. She kept pushing me to try her peanut butter smoothie, even after I said I wasn’t in the mood. Instead of just saying no, I blurted out, “Oh, I can’t—I’m allergic.”

Big mistake.

She was super concerned, asked a million questions, and I figured, whatever, I’d never see her again. But then she introduced me to her friend group. And they all knew about my “allergy.” At that point, correcting it felt too awkward.

Fast forward six years. I’m still friends with these people. My “allergy” is a known fact. They warn restaurants for me, they check ingredients, one of them even threw out a peanut butter cake someone brought to a party “just to be safe.”

The worst part? I love peanut butter. I eat it in secret. I have a stash at work. Once, my best friend said, “Man, it must suck not knowing what a Reese’s tastes like.” And I just nodded solemnly.

Now, my girlfriend (who also believes I’m allergic) wants us to move in together… and she’s super cautious about food. I’m terrified she’ll find my peanut butter stash and think I’ve been LYING TO HER.

Which I have. For years.

I have no idea how to get out of this. Do I fake a “miracle recovery”? A medical misdiagnosis? Or do I just keep the lie going forever?

TL;DR: Lied about a peanut allergy, now I’m living a double life and can never eat Reese’s in public.