AITA for telling my DIL she is not a mother?

Throwaway ( I need to go to bed, I have some comments, will come back tomorrow)

I (64F) have three kids and they are all married. This post is about my son and his wife,Jenny. Jenny struggles with infertility and she has no children. My other son (DIL is expecting next month) and my daughter has recently had a her own kid ( grandson).

Everyone was busy for Mother’s Day and they couldn’t met up with me for the holiday ( that fine, they are starting their own families). I thought it would be nice to send my expecting DIL/son and my daughter a Mother’s Day basket.

So Jenny always made comments that her two dogs are the first grandkids, I always thought it was a joke. She is big on being a dog mom. My daughter posted a picture of in the group chat of everything she got for Mother’s Day and included the basket. My other DIL also thanked me for her basket in the chat.

Jenny called me soon after and asked where her basket was. I was confused and asked what she ment ( I thought she was pregnant and she was just telling me now). She clarified since I have two grandkids by her already and said her dogs names.

I was even more confused at this and she clarified that she is her dogs mother and should have gotten a basket. I told her she is not a mother, Mother’s Day is for women that raise human children and not pet owners. She got really upset and cursed me out for not getting her a basket and that she is a parent.

My son is telling me to apologize and to send a Mother’s Day basket over.

He is calling me a jerk for not sending her a basket and telling her she is a pet owner