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AITA for saying I would terminate my pregnancy if the baby had a genetic condition, and now my husband is considering a divorce? - RFP Demo
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AITA for saying I would terminate my pregnancy if the baby had a genetic condition, and now my husband is considering a divorce?


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A couple of weeks ago, I found out I’m pregnant. My husband and I had been talking about starting a family for a while, so this was supposed to be an exciting moment for us. However, during a conversation about prenatal testing, I told him that if we found out the baby had a severe genetic condition, such as Down syndrome, I would choose to terminate the pregnancy.

I also shared my belief that it is extremely selfish to knowingly bring a child into the world with serious medical or developmental challenges. To me, it would be unfair to the child, to myself, and to my husband. Raising a child with severe disabilities is an enormous lifelong commitment, one that affects every aspect of a family’s life, and I don’t believe it is responsible to willingly choose that path when there is an option to prevent it, I also said that either raising a child like that or having an hereditary condition and choose to be pregnant (instead of adopting, for example) is extremely selfish as well.

My husband was horrified. He said he never realized I felt this way and that he couldn’t believe I would even consider terminating a pregnancy just because the child wouldn’t be “perfect”. He accused me of being cold, pro-eugenest and lacking empathy, saying that every child deserves love regardless of their challenges. He also strongly disagreed with my opinion that people with hereditary conditions should think twice before having children, calling it an extreme and disturbing mindset.

Since then, things between us have been tense, and now he says he is seriously considering divorce. He told me that we have completely different values when it comes to family and that he doesn’t think he can stay married to someone who sees things this way. I was shocked that he would take it this far, but he says he doesn’t want to raise children with someone who believes in “selective” reproduction.

I never expected this conversation to lead to such a massive rift in our marriage. I don’t see my stance as cruel, just practical and responsible. AITA for being honest about my beliefs, even though they are making my husband want to leave me?

TL;DR: I recently found out I’m pregnant and told my husband that I would terminate if prenatal testing showed the baby had a severe genetic condition. I believe it’s selfish to knowingly bring a child into the world who will suffer. My husband was horrified, says we have different values, and is now considering divorce. AITA?

submitted by /u/Much-Lavishness-2546 to r/AITAH
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