AITA for ending a relationship because she wants full details of my wealth after 2 months of being together?

A couple of my friends thought that I acted wrongly here. I’m curious what other people think. I (40m) just ended a 2 month relationship with my now-ex (39f) – I’ll call her “X”. I ended it because she pestered me to know about my finances, despite me saying that I wasn’t comfortable letting her know something like that so early. Both of us were divorced once already, and we were both the person who asked for the divorce (neither divorce was terrible, we both divorced for emotional differences).

I try to keep my finances on the down-low, for obvious reasons. I’ve lost a few friendships, and had to break contact with more than one family member due to money (people who asked for help and blew it). But this is pretty easy to do, because I don’t live lavishly. I ride a bike most of the time, and I live in a relatively modest house. However, I don’t work currently, aside from some volunteer work, so that’s the one thing that stands out.

I made some really good (lucky) financial choices early in my life. I bought a house at 17 with money I saved from a young age (my dad arranged the mortgage under his name, but I paid everything and took over the mortgage when I was old enough), and I worked hard to pay off the mortgage by the time I was 24. Long story short, this gave me a serious advantage with finances in my 20s, and I made a lot of investments, some of which paid off big time in the past few years (crypto). Today I don’t work, but I’m not decided on being “retired”, I have some projects that I’m thinking of turning into a business.

When X and I met, finances weren’t discussed at all, and she seemed really down to earth. She even said a few times that money doesn’t matter to her. I tried my best to keep my finances hidden from her, because I didn’t want to have an inaccurate sense of her feelings for me.

After being together for about 3 weeks, the subject of my finances came up (because of the fact that I don’t work). I told her about my young homeownership, and having my mortgage paid off, and that I have enough money to not work. I shared with her the general sources of my income, but I refused to tell her how much money I had (which was what she wanted to know). I told her that was a boundary that I was setting, and I didn’t want to share that kind of specific info.

From that point, she seemed very fixated on finances, and her personality started changing. She constantly talked about lavish things she wants to do, like expensive trips, etc. And most of all, she did not give up on the questions about my finances. This continued consistently, and she would ask me specifically how much money I had, and how much I had invested, etc. It almost became an argument once, she raised her voice about it, and quickly cooled herself off about it and changed the subject. I wrongly told myself that cooling herself off like that was a good sign of maturity (maybe it was). Each time she asked about it, I set a clear boundary by saying that I didn’t think we were at a stage of our relationship where we should ask eachother things like that. She would agree, and then slowly weasel her way back into the topic by the next time we saw eachother.

We weren’t dating “heavily”, I would say. We’re not teenagers who spend every waking moment together, we saw eachother maybe 2-3 times per week, and she would spend the night occasionally, and we spent 2 entire weekends together (maybe that’s serious, but I don’t think so). And we hadn’t yet ever discussed moving in together, or much less marriage. So we weren’t at a stage where I felt it was appropriate for us to ask eachother things like that, especially when I had given her what I would consider to be enough information.

Anyways, I broke things off this past weekend, and it didn’t go well. She was very emotional about it, which I didn’t expect considering the fact that I thought the relationship wasn’t very far along. The only point I made in the breakup was that I felt like my privacy was being invaded because we had not reached any kind of relationship milestone that I would consider talking about things like finances. I told her that I could understand if we were talking about moving in together, she might want to know how financially secure I was.

I talked to a few of my friends last night about the breakup. They had all met her once, and they liked her. 3 of my friends agreed that I acted immaturely, and that I shouldn’t have been so secretive.

One of my friends said “it’s unfair to hide something like that, because everyone else at least has a ballpark idea of how much money someone makes as soon as they know what kind of job they have, and she didn’t have info like that, which is unfair to her”. I didn’t agree with this, because it’s foolish to make assumptions like that, combined with the fact that she said multiple times that money didn’t matter to her.

I’m curious to hear what other people think about this.

Edit: Lots of people seem to be under the impression that the big issue in this relationship was that she was a “gold digger”. The issue was that I was setting a boundary, and she repeatedly chose not to respect that.