AITA for taking back the car I gave to my stepdaughter after she disrespected me?

I (45M) married my wife, Clara (43F), five years ago. She has a daughter, Lily (17F), from her previous marriage. I’ve always tried to build a good relationship with Lily, but it’s been an uphill battle. She’s polite but distant and has made it clear I’m “just her mom’s husband.” Still, I’ve done my best to support her driving her to soccer games, helping with homework, and showing up whenever I could.

Clara hasn’t been working for the past two years. She left her job to pursue her dream of becoming an artist. I supported her decision, even though it meant I had to take on more hours at work to keep us afloat. It’s been tight financially, but I wanted Clara to feel fulfilled, and I believed we’d get through it together.

Last year, Lily got her driver’s license, and despite the extra strain, I worked overtime to save up and buy her a used car. It wasn’t anything fancy, just a 2010 Honda Civic, but I wanted her to have some independence. I thought it might also help bridge the gap between us. When I handed her the keys she seemed happy even gave me a hug which felt huge coming from her. I thought we were making progress.

Last month, I overheard Lily talking to a friend. She said, “I hate him. He’s pathetic, thinking that car will make me like him. I just pretend to be nice so Mom doesn’t get mad.” Her words felt like a punch to the gut. I’ve sacrificed so much to support this family, and hearing her mock me like that crushed me.

I told Clara what I’d overheard, hoping she’d back me up, but she brushed it off. “Lily’s a teenager. She doesn’t mean it. Just let it go.” But I couldn’t let it go. A week later, I asked Lily directly if she really felt that way. She didn’t deny it. She just shrugged and said, “I didn’t ask for the car, so I don’t owe you anything.” When I told her how much her words hurt, she rolled her eyes and said, “If you’re that upset, take the car back. I don’t care.”

So, I did. The next day, I took the spare key, drove the car to a dealership, and sold it. I figured the money could go toward the bills I’ve been struggling to cover since Clara stopped working. When Lily found out, she was furious. She called me a “petty jerk” and said I was punishing her for “being honest.” Clara blew up, too. She accused me of overreacting and claimed I’d ruined my relationship with Lily permanently.

Clara argued that I should’ve consulted her first and said my actions were unfair, especially since Lily is “just a kid.” She also pointed out that Lily is already struggling emotionally because of our financial situation, which she says I’m “constantly bringing up.” But I’m tired of being disrespected. I’ve worked so hard to keep this family afloat while Clara chases her dreams, and I feel like I’ve been taken for granted by both of them.

Now the house is tense. Clara says I need to apologize and consider buying Lily another car, but I feel like that would just enable her behavior. AITA for taking back the car I gave her after she disrespected me?