AITAH for wanting a divorce my husband doesn’t want and risking no relationship with his child?

My husband (33M) and I (30F) have been married for 11 years. He is in the military and we have lived all over the place. During this time, I have taken on most if not all of the household chores (grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry) and when needed he has mowed the lawn, hung stuff up on walls…I have for most of our marriage had a job as well. I asked in the past for help around the house and it was not even considered. He in fact threatened to eat off of paper plates or eat fast food so that I wouldn’t have to “worry about HIS dishes”. Fast forward to now, we have a 13 month old baby. I have stayed home since birth and am still cooking, cleaning, laundry, groceries, pets…all on me.

I again decided to revisit the topic as I’m feeling so burnt out… I breastfeed all night, am responsible for bath time, feeding baby for mealtime, cleanup after meal time, dishes. He thinks going to work is enough? That I’m not grateful for him working since I’m asking him to help me around the house?

I told him why are we married then? I can just get a job and do it all myself still. I’d find a way.

He reluctantly agreed to helping after I mentioned this would be it for me…

The following week every time he fed the baby, or changed the baby, or put food away after dinner it was always a comment “I hope THIS is enough” or “am I doing enough?” We got home one day after grocery shopping. I got the baby out of the car seat and went to the other side to grab a few bags. He said “No I got it”. I said please let me get some. He said “no”. As we’re walking inside he says “I hope breaking my back is enough for you”. Like…I can’t win.

I told him it’s like he’s punishing me for asking for help. I mentioned divorce and he said if we divorce he isn’t going to be involved in our child’s life. He said and I quote “It’s all or nothing”.

He says he doesn’t want to divorce.

We currently live overseas and divorce would mean me moving back to the states near family with our baby while he stays at his duty station.

AITAH for considering divorcing my husband knowing that he would choose not to know his own child? How can I do this to our baby? But how can I live like this? Am I asking for too much?