I feel violated and confused by what my fiancé did to me. WIBTAH if I told my parents?

I (f20) am engaged to my fiance (m26) and we’ve been together for 2 years. He’s never ever done something like this before so I guess this is why I’m so scared- I just don’t know. He’s so usually so kind.

I feel violated, if I’m allowed to say that. It was two nights ago, and I haven’t left my bed since. Basically we were in his bed in his home and we were going to sleep. For info, my fiancé and I have never slept together before and we don’t do anything like that because I am supposed to be saving myself for marriage. He knows this and supports it, and likes that for me. Which is also why I feel so confused.

He basically started touching me places and I kind of was like what are you doing and he said nothing, just touching. I made a joke about how I don’t think it’s allowed and he snapped that he “doesn’t fucking care” what’s allowed or what’s not. I was quiet and kind of let him do it, but I felt weird. After a while he was kissing me and basically asked me to do something for him, in that way. I told him no and tried to laugh it off. It was awkward and I felt lowkey uncomfortable. He just held me there and told me to do it for him again. I said no again and got up to go to the bathroom because I was shaking.

He followed me and said that I couldn’t leave the bathroom unless I got down and did it for him. I kept saying no and I honestly thought he was joking for a minute but he was serious. He closed the door and blocked it. He said he would wait all night. I said me too and we just stood there for a while. Eventually, I sat down on the edge of the bathtub, trying to prove how I would seriously wait. He grabbed my shoulder and literally pulled me really hard onto the ground. I hit my knees hard on the tile but he did not ask if I was okay. I had to do what he wanted and the entire time I was just so sad and scared and embarrassed and uncomfortable and it was an uncomfortable and awkward and painful experience all around.

He was much nicer the rest of the night and apologized for hurting my knees. He told me not to cry and not to tell anyone because he still wants me to wait until married and they might think we didn’t. He said stuff like that stays between couples, which I understand. I went home the next morning and my mom asked me if I was okay. I said yes. I haven’t told anyone because I am ashamed. I feel lowkey violated but I also know I wasn’t supposed to do anything like that so I don’t want to tell anyone I did. I’m just confused I think. Would I be awful to tell my mom what he did?