My husband fed me poop.

Updates to follow below ⬇️

Yes, you read that right. Yesterday evening, my husband decided to play a prank on me. He had noticed that our guinea pig, Fluff, was happily munching on alfalfa, and it gave him an idea. He took a few of Fluff’s pellets (the guinea pig droppings), and, thinking it was harmless since they only eat alfalfa, mixed them into a bowl of chocolates. He figured that if anyone could tell something was off, it would be me.

Later, when we were sitting together, I reached for the bowl of chocolates without any suspicion. I popped a piece in my mouth, chewed, and immediately noticed something strange. The taste was off… I looked at him, and he pretended to be innocent, asking if something was wrong.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that something wasn’t right, and that’s when he finally confessed with a laugh. He told me it was just guinea pig poop, but since it was made of alfalfa, it was completely safe and the he mixed in not only week old poop but fresh poop as well. (I deep clean the cage once a week) I was disgusted but mostly, I couldn’t believe he’d actually gone through with it. I blew up and kicked him out of the house because that is utterly disgusting. I was sick most of the night and my stomach has been the same since. He and his family are mad at me for blowing things out of proportions… Should I be this upset over a prank?

Edit: I am meeting him in an hour to talk about things and get more clarity.. I will keep you guys updated. For those asking he’s 46 and I am 35. We met 7 years ago and have been married 6 years.

Edit: he came home to talk and gather some things because I am not sure if I want him to come back. So here is the update… He’s admitted that this isn’t the first time he’s tampered with my food… I eat a salad everyday for lunch and he admitted that he put grass in my salad once and told me by saying “you are over reacting to this entire situation! I fed your grass once and you never noticed!! I thought it would be funny” my reply was “Grass???” (I eat micro salads so everything is chopped really fine..)

Him: “yeah one time I put grass in your salad to see if you’d notice and you didn’t!” Did he think I wouldn’t notice the poop as well?? Long story short, he laughed about it again. No apology.. I asked him for a divorce and he started throwing things around the house. Thankfully I recorded the entire conversation (I live in a state that you can record without someone knowing) and kept the bowl of poop.. I’ll keep you updated as this goes on…

Final update (hopefully) ‼️ I’m meeting with a lawyer tomorrow.. i demanded a divorce and he said “ok, we will see how this plays out. You know about the poop.. too bad you won’t know anything else.” I saw a doctor this afternoon and he said that it’s definitely dangerous and I should watch for any weird symptoms for the next couple of weeks… what’s scary about this is I’ve been diagnosed with digestive issues since marrying him. About a year after we got married I started having horrible stomach pains and was later diagnosed with GERD and IBS. I’m starting to wonder if he’s been feeding me stuff since…. I guess I’ll see after this divorce if these issues go away. For those of you who think this is fake I pray that no one feeds you literal feces one day and in a way to vent you tell it to people who don’t believe you.

Filing a police report.