Teenager wanted adult freedoms and is now dealing with adult consequences
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I am the father of a teenage daughter. Ever since she was 13 she has constantly lied, refused to follow our household rules (no electronics in rooms, 9 pm bedtime, no fighting, bickering or petty back stabbing with siblings etc, complete your chores daily (sweep kitchen and cleanup after family dog) etc.) I do not feel we are super strict but i also refuse to give ground on these areas. In exchange, she has the newest iPhone, tablet and laptop. Is able to participate in a sport that costs me a couple thousand a year and has pocket money every time she needs it.
Recently things have come to a head. She has been outright defiant and disrespectful. Completely ignoring her mom, rolling her eyes when she is asked to do things and using feigned ignorance as a weapon. She has been caught multiple times up at 2 am using her electronics etc. I sat her down a little over a week ago. Her reasons are a repeat of what she has said for years. She does not feel a 9pm/10pm (weekdays/weekends) is appropriate for her age (15), she does not feel that she should have to do chores as her grades and workload should exempt her (all As AP student) even though she acknowledges that she has maybe 15 minutes worth of chores a day.
So I decided to give her what she asked for. I let her know that we would not remind her to do her chores, homework, laundry etc. We would not send her to bed or enforce a bedtime most nights, nor would we stop her from using her electronics in her room, even if it is bad for her sleep habits. But in exchange, if she did not do her chores, follow the rules or etc. She would need to deal with the consequences as an adult. Example I gave her was, if she chose to not follow the rules and not do her chores, she would be expected to get a job and pay rent, bills etc.(Her rent money would be kept in a separate account and invested in bonds set to mature while she is in college and given to her. She does not know this). She agreed.
We are now a week later and her sleep habits have gone to hell. Last night she stayed up past midnight and this morning slept through her alarm. She called me this morning and begged me to come and give her a ride. I let her know that I will not leave work and put myself behind for the day to backstop her poor decisions. She would need to wait for me to come home know lunch to give her a ride. She is very upset because this will place her behind in most of her classes and she will need to get her choir teacher to allow her makeup work as she will miss an important rehearsal for a performance and risk a 30% reduction in grade.
AITAH?
submitted by /u/Top-Lion3558 to r/AITAH
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