UPDATE: MIL refuses to back down over destroyed Lego Millenium Falcon

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1kq149h/aita_for_not_letting_my_mother_in_law_come_over/

First off, I want to thank everyone for the outpouring of support. It’s been wonderful seeing everyone’s advice has helped me realize a few things. I had a good long talk with my wife in attempt to resolve this situation, and we’ve again called the mother in law which I hoped would diffuse the situation and bring things back down to earth. Instead, tensions have seemed only to have escalated.

For anyone who didn’t see the original post, my wife’s parents came to visit for a week, in which things went relatively smoothly aside from some disparaging comments about my Lego collection from the mother in law but after they left in the night we discovered the Millennium Falcon destroyed with a note from my mother in law saying she did this so that I can move on and be a “real man”.

Firstly, after lunch my wife and I discussed the situation adult to adult. I expressed my feelings of her not being behind me in this. She admitted to having harbored feelings against my Lego collection. She also admitted to secretly agreeing partially with my mother. She doesn’t think that my mother in law should have gone as far as she did, but according to my wife I need to move on. I feel hurt by this since it’s been my lifelong hobby and being an engineer I take great joy in building various creations with Legos.

After that, my wife and I were certainly not in agreement but we were at least on the same page. We also both wanted to resolve things with my mother in law and so that day we called her mother and things did not go well to say the least. I simply told her that I was sorry I had to not let her come back, and I hope things can be resolved quickly. Still feeling upset about the Lego Millenium Falcon, I said that all I asked of her was an apology. She refused, saying that if she bends for me at all I would never get over my Lego “obsession”. My wife is not happy with any of this and frankly the marriage is starting to show tensions, which worries me greatly. She seems to be more distant after all of this. My son has developed a strong disliking of the mother in law and I really can’t blame him. She has been getting a little crazy and seems to only talk about Trump these days. Should we start considering a senior home for her?

So that’s the update, things are getting even worse and I’m not sure if I can salvage the situation. I’ll update everyone when new developments occur.

Edit: Spelling and grammar